So JR finds out he is actually part of a line of pet detectives that dates back to Charles Darwin. The actor just sounds fucking confused like he has no idea what the hell he is talking about. It's even more painful than you are imagining. In about a minute we get 3 or 4 of them "looooooooser," "like a glove," and a couple others. His grandfather is dressed like Ace Ventura and yes, starts spouting his catch phrases.
Fair enough right? Makes sense? It's at this point where things get awful, awful to the point where I had to keep rewinding the movie to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was.Īce Jr's grandfather shows up to take care of him while his mom is in prison after being arrested despite the police having no concrete evidence whatsoever. Then a baby panda (aka a person in a really bad panda suit) is kidnapped and Ace Jr's mom is blamed. So the basic idea of the movie is the kid wants to save lost animals but doesn't know why.
Hear that? That's your childhood being raped. Now whenever you watch them you will know eventually the character gives birth to an obnoxious little shit and then dies. Here though, it's supposed to be his kid so he has to be around right? You really want to know how they worked around it?.THEY KILLED HIM OFF! That's right, Ace Ventura is fucking dead! This movie wasn't content being terrible on its own, it had to ruin the old movies too. Dumb and Dumberer was a prequel, and the other ones just followed a different character and it didn't really affect the premise. The other Jim Carrey-less sequels have done it. You might be wondering how they worked around not having Jim Carrey in the movie. It doesn't take long however to realize things are going to get really fucking bad. The movie was still awful, but not train wreck awful. When it starts however, the kid is normal. I figured it would be 90 minutes of a kid doing a bad Jim Carrey impression. It's actually more of a slow burn then I expected. Remember how everyone was doing Ace Ventura impressions? Remember how they were all really terrible? Well this is that.the movie.15 years later.and way worse. It's ok if you can't remember, it was a really long time ago. So what did the other 3 people do? Get drunk and berate the person actually writing? Who knows.įor those old enough to remember, think back to when these movies were popular.
How did it take 4 people to do this? All they needed to do for a script was write "Kid does terrible Jim Carrey impression, makes people want kill selves" in point form and it would be done. 4!!! All of the movies I listed as my favourites needed just one dude to write them, and they were awesome.
The ecomony is in the worst state its been in for decades and this is something that deserved millions of dollars? What is wrong with this planet?!Īccording to the credits, it took 4 writers to come up with this. take some money and make that." This movie exists! It is an actual thing! I can't begin to imagine how that came to be. HOW THE FUCK DID THIS MOVIE GET MADE?! How did a franchise that nobody has cared about for 15 years suddenly peak enough interest to get a 3rd installment? Did 2009 not give us enough shitty trilogies yet? Did they not remember Son of the Mask, Dumb and Dumberer and Evan Almighty? Seriously what happened here?! Someone actually pitched the idea of doing a movie about Ace Ventura's son, and someone else actually said "oh my fuck yes. I really don't even know where to begin with this one, so we'll start at the beginning.the very beginning. It's easily top 10 though, and probably even top 5. It might be the rage of having just watched it. It might not actually be the worst movie EVER. Whenever someone asks me what the worst movie I've ever seen is I can look them dead in the eye and say "Ace Ventura Jr Pet Detective". But now I finally have a definitive answer. Last year made it easier to say "Well Meet the Spartans and Disaster Movie are definitely right up there". It's even harder to answer when someone asks me what the worst movie I've ever seen is.
I've been saying that so long that I don't even know if it's true or not, it's just what I'm trained to do. Whenever someone asks me what my favourite one is, I usually say either Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I have seen hundreds, most likely even thousands of movies in my lifetime. The proper title might actually be "Ace Ventura JR Pet Detective" but it doesn't really matter.